A new beer is always eagerly awaited, so imagine my excitement when I saw four different kinds of brew under the name 'Little Devils'. Having become slightly health-conscious (and being slightly drunk), I purchased two pints. Little Devils Premium Lager and Little Devils Golden Ale. Premium Lager wasn't too bad, but Golden Ale tasted like horse piss. Haven't tasted horse piss (yet), but if I had to guess I'd say it tastes like Golden Ale.
It was so horrible that I didn't drink anything but water the next day. No alcohol on a Saturday night, believe it or not.
But they say there's no escape from fate. My friend Hemant 'T2' Rao showed up on Sunday night with two pints of Little Devils. If you're actually waiting to hear it, here goes: Wheat Beer and Indian Pale Ale were as shitty as the previous two miseries. Piss-eries, if you will.
These Little Devils beers were so bad (all four of them are) that T2 and I tried to get each other to finish them. T2 didn't seem to care about the money he'd wasted because a greater calamity had befallen us. Every time we took a sip in the hope that this skunk piss might miraculously start tasting better we just ended up making faces at each other.
Little Devils' Wheat Beer and Premium Lager is bad, and its Golden Ale and Indian Pale Ale tastes like...like, you'll taste dhana ni dal everytime it passes down your unfortunate gullet.
The first thing I should've mentioned is that the godfucked bottle says the hops and malts come from Australia. Are you bastards surprised? That's not all - Little Devils is manufactured in Uttar Pradesh and is "for sale in Maharashtra only". It's a racist attack on the people of this state if you're still wondering, slow coaches.
A pint of this Australia/U.P pony-pee attack on Maharashtra costs 55 rupees. Don't ask me why I didn't upload a pic.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
The Man Who Saw Allah
Last week, two friends who'd come over to smoke hash narrated a hilarious and unbelievable incident to me. We were discussing the effect hallucinogens might have on the deeply religious. We were talking about visions people have at the time of their death, and the topic shifted to how narcotic substances might alter one's perception of god, religion, spirituality and the universe.
Deftly rolling joints, these guys told me about a young Muslim man who had dedicated his life to Islam. A non-drinker of course, the god-fearing young man liked smoking hashish every day.
It so happened that the group of people he used to get high with decided to play a prank on him. One afternoon, when he was very stoned, they offered him fruit juice spiked with LSD. Now this dude was really baked and obviously had no idea what he was in for - he readily accepted the fresh, chilled juice and sipped on it to soothe his parched throat, dehydrated by the charas.
In some time, his eyes widened as if he were deranged, and he leapt up and announced, "Bhai, Allah dikh rela hai, bhai!"
Someone else present at the scene ordered him to stop talking nonsense and asked him if he had lost his mind... no one had seen Allah, so how could he?
But this enlightened fellow was in no mood to listen to anyone else - the chap called his wife up and repeated the same thing - that he had seen Allah, was probably dead and on his way to jannat. Naturally, the poor woman started freaking, but he told her he loved her and their kid and then he just hung up. Maybe, he wanted to get right back to enjoying the hallucinations, still not realizing it was the acid doing that to his brain.
Anyway, this is a very funny and strange story, and I thought I'd share it with you.
I have a lot of Muslim friends who offer me homemade non-vegetarian delicacies on Islamic festivals and other special occasions - I love them and respect their faith, so no need to get offended.
Not like I offered anyone a Breezer or something. Geez.
Written by "Aditya Mehta" exclusively for Blish
Click here to see the original post "Muslim Man Claims To Have Seen Allah"
Deftly rolling joints, these guys told me about a young Muslim man who had dedicated his life to Islam. A non-drinker of course, the god-fearing young man liked smoking hashish every day.
It so happened that the group of people he used to get high with decided to play a prank on him. One afternoon, when he was very stoned, they offered him fruit juice spiked with LSD. Now this dude was really baked and obviously had no idea what he was in for - he readily accepted the fresh, chilled juice and sipped on it to soothe his parched throat, dehydrated by the charas.
In some time, his eyes widened as if he were deranged, and he leapt up and announced, "Bhai, Allah dikh rela hai, bhai!"
Someone else present at the scene ordered him to stop talking nonsense and asked him if he had lost his mind... no one had seen Allah, so how could he?
But this enlightened fellow was in no mood to listen to anyone else - the chap called his wife up and repeated the same thing - that he had seen Allah, was probably dead and on his way to jannat. Naturally, the poor woman started freaking, but he told her he loved her and their kid and then he just hung up. Maybe, he wanted to get right back to enjoying the hallucinations, still not realizing it was the acid doing that to his brain.
Anyway, this is a very funny and strange story, and I thought I'd share it with you.
I have a lot of Muslim friends who offer me homemade non-vegetarian delicacies on Islamic festivals and other special occasions - I love them and respect their faith, so no need to get offended.
Not like I offered anyone a Breezer or something. Geez.
Written by "Aditya Mehta" exclusively for Blish
Click here to see the original post "Muslim Man Claims To Have Seen Allah"
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